


Alphabet Soup: Under the sink

by Windfighter



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent, Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crossover, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 10:06:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12768732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windfighter/pseuds/Windfighter
Summary: Lalli is just the worst. I mean, how could he just kidnap Princess Peach to force her to marry him like that?





	Alphabet Soup: Under the sink

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lazy8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazy8/gifts), [corncobman](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=corncobman).



> Hey, look what I finally finished! Wooo!  
> My apologies to anyone in the Mario-fandom, I have only played like one level in one game and don't know the characters.  
> Also my apologies to Lazy8 and corncobman for butchering what could have been an awesome crackfic. I think I warned you when I accepted the plot bunny though.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Lalli was going to marry Emil. Everyone knew that. Especially after Emil told everyone how he kept hearing Lalli's voice for a while. Sigrun kept teasing the two of them about it. Mikkel always started up a wedding cermony whenever Lalli and Emil were close to each other. Reynir kept showing Lalli different clothes he could wear for the wedding. Even Onni was doing his part in trying to get the wedding to happen. Since he wouldn't get to watch his baby sister get married and settle down for a safe life he was going to make sure that Lalli got the woman of his dreams. And Onni had decided that that woman was Emil.

Problem was, Lalli didn't want it. Emil was a maybe, kind of friend. He didn't want to marry him. _Especially_ not after he had been forced to spend time inside Emil's head. Which was why he was now sitting hidden inside the bathroom in the Västerström residence where the group was currently hanging out. In there he got left alone, at least for a little while.

Lalli splashed his face with water a fifth time. He wasn't ready to go out yet. Someone knocked lightly on the door and he heard Emil's voice. He glared at the door, hated how he could understand Emil now.

”Are you okay in there? Do you need anything?”

_Everyone to leave me alone._

”I'm fine. Don't need anything.”

He still didn't understand _Swedish_ , only Emil. And Emil still didn't know Finnish, but he understood Lalli. Further proof that they were going to marry. Lalli glared at the door again, splashed water over his face a sixth time. Then he blinked, stared at the sink. Stared at what used to be the sink. It was just a large, green pipe leading down. He looked at the door again, back at the sink. The pipe.

”Lalli? What's going on?”

He sank down on his knees, let his hands trace along the hole. It was cold, slippery and further down it was just darkness. He heard Emil place his hand on the door handle.

”You'll be coming out again soon, won't you?”

Lalli sat on the edge of the pipe, narrowed his eyes and pushed himself into it. Any light the bathroom had provided disappeared quickly and Lalli lost track of how long he had been sliding. Then, grass. Lalli skidded a few meters, before getting to his feet, ready to run. He glanced around, scanning the area for any threat. He went back to the pipe again, looked up through it. He'd have a hard time getting back that way, so he needed to find another route. Or, he thought about the fuzz everyone up there was making, he could just stay down here.

He looked around again. There was tiny people with mushrooms hats on their heads walking around. Some of them looked in his direction, but most of them ignored him. No one tried to approach him or talk to him and best of all _no one was telling him to marry Emil already._ There really was no need for him to find a road up just yet.

Lalli's eyed scanned the horizon, searched for something he could check out, a place he could rest. They fell on what looked like a castle and wherever there was a castle there had to be a town, so he decided to head there. One foot infront of the other and soon he arrived to it. No town though and he shrugged, went inside. Followed the stairs up one floor, two floors, three floors. He walked by a large room with a gigantic bed he would probably drown in if he tried it, then found another room with a sturdy couch. He closed the door behind him, placed a chair beneath the handle to keep anyone from surprising him and then tried the couch.

Comfortable enough. He sat down in it, kicked off his shoes and laid down. This was _heaven_. Finally, a moment to rest without everyone trying to get him into a wedding cermony. Even Emil's _cousins_ had been all over him about it. He closed his eyes, snuggled down under a blanket and prepared for sleep to grab him.

Only, it didn't. Lalli twisted and turned and tried to find a comfortable position, but he couldn't. Something was missing. He wasn't going to admit it though. He closed his eyes, snuggled deeper into the couch and then he heard voices. People passed by the room, and then their steps disappeared again. Lalli got out of the couch again. He wasn't going to fall asleep anyway, so he might just as well investigate. He removed the chair, opened the door. The hallway was barren again, no people, and he went left, further into the castle.

The first glance he got of her was a large painting on the wall. She wore a pink dress and had long golden hair and large blue eyes. He passed the painting without paying much attention to it. Continuing down the corridor the voices returned. Two male voices, with a weird accent, and one female voice. The female voice was captivating, gentle. He stopped outside a door, peeked through the keyhole. That was the second glance he got of her.

The conversation ended and Lalli quckly hid behind an armor as the two men exited the door and disappeared down the hallway. He waited for a while, expected the woman to leave as well, but she didn't and he snuck up to the door again. She was sitting by a desk, pen in her hand, obviously writing something. She almost looked like she was waiting for something, because she kept glancing towards the window. Slowly he pressed the handle down.

”Not the window this time?”

She looked at him. Her eyes were bright blue and Lalli froze, felt right at home under their gaze.

”Oh, you're not... Hello there. Who are you?”

He understood her. His hand hugged the handle tighter. She got out of her chair, her golden hair fell perfectly over her shoulders.

”Can you talk?”

Lalli nodded. His mouth didn't want to form the sounds.

”What's your name?”

His hand grabbed her wrist. There was something about her, something he couldn't look away from. She felt so familiar, and he wanted her. He shook his head.

”Come.”

”Is your name Come?”

Lalli shook his head again, pulled her closer and out through the door. Through the corridor, down the stairs and out of the entrance.

”Did Bowser send you?”

Lalli shook his head. He didn't know who Bowser was, didn't care. He needed to figure out how to get back. Could they climb up the pipe? He wasn't sure. She followed him along, people stared at them and she waved to them. Fixed her hair with the free hand. Lalli stopped when they reached the pipe, looked up through it. How would he get her back? She waited, kept talking. Lalli didn't listen, but it felt comforting. It was proof she wouldn't abandon him. He put his head into the pipe to see better and suddenly something pulled him from the ground. His grip around the woman's wrist tightened, he wasn't going to lose her.

It was only a minute before the pipe spit them out. Lalli looked around, realized he was back in the bathroom. The door was still locked, The handle pressed down a little. He looked towards the pipe again. Towards the sink. Because the sink was back now. He looked at the woman, saw her looking around on wonder.

”I'm Lalli”, Lalli said to her.

She smiled at him, then looked around again. Saw her reflection and fixed her hair a little. Lalli tilted his head. He had only just met her, but so much about her felt familiar already. He shook his head. Why had he even brought her along? What madness had sparked that reaction?

”Lalli? Are you alright in there?”

Emil. Lalli twitched. That's right, that was the problem. He looked at the woman again. She could solve it. Thanks to her he'd be able to get the rest of them to stop bothering him.

”Am alright.” He turned to the woman again. ”Your name?”

”I'm Peach. Where are we?”

”Sweden.”

Lalli opened the door and went outside, dragging Peach with him. Emil looked at her, looked at Lalli and looked at her again.

”Where did you come from?”

”The Mushroom Kingdom of course.”

Emil looked at Lalli again. Lalli could see all the questions in his face and he took a tighter grip around Peach, puller her closer.

”We're going to get married.”

Peach laughed, but didn't protest. Emil looked shocked, but tried to force a smile.

”Congratulations. I'm happy for you.”

He didn't look very happy. Lalli tried to smile as well.

”Thanks.”

”You should probably tell Onni, he'll be happy to hear it.”

”I will.” He turned to Peach. ”Come.”

She followed him, seemed unfazed by him deciding her future. They stopped in the living room, Lalli straightened up before turning to Onni, who was playing cards with Trond.

”This is Peach”, he started and Onni turned to him. ”She's my soulmate and we're getting married so you can stop hooking me up with Emil now.”

”O...kay?” Onni blinked. ”That was sudden. Why haven't you introduced her earlier?”

”We just met”, Peach smiled. ”He kidnapped me and brought me here. Don't worry, I won't stay long. Mario and Luigi will soon come for me.”

Lalli didn't like what he was hearing. Was she not happy with him? Never mind, it didn't matter, they would get married and live happy ever after and no one would ever bother him about getting married again. It was going to be perfect. Onni wasn't going to get in the way, Emil wasn't going to get in the way and these Mario and Luigi, who he didn't even know, were definately not going to get in the way.

”Are you really sure about this?” Emil asked when they met up before dinner again.

Lalli nodded, stretched his back and tried to look like the most certain person in the universe. It was disturbed however, by a loud crash coming from the bathroom. Emil looked at Lalli, then turned around and ran towards it, while Lalli grabbed Peach and ran to the bedroom. He locked the door behind them, pulled up a bed against the door and shoved Peach into the closet. Then he sat down on one of the other beds and waited, ready to attack anything that would come through the door.

Sounds of battle could be heard from outside. Lalli had no idea what was going on, he just hoped that Emil was doing okay. He couldn't be hurt, could he? Not that it mattered, Lalli didn't care, Lalli had Peach now.

”I did say they were going to come for me”, she called.

Lalli ignored her, waited. Ten minutes, then something was pushing against the door. Lalli got ready to defend his bride-to-be.

Flames licked the door, the bed, spread to the rug and across the room. Emil? Lalli coughed in the smoke, saw two shadows enter.

”Where is she?”

He recognized them now, they had been in that room, talking with her. He hissed, charged, but they jumped over him and he slid through the flames and out of the room. The wall caught him and he rushed inside again, saw Peach coming out of the closet and saw them holding her.

”She's mine, we're going to get married!”

”The mushroom kingdom needs her.”

”You can't take her, it's the only way! I need her!”

The one dressed in red pushed him out of the way and passed him, followed by the other two. Lalli shook his head. No. No, this could not be happening. She was his only way of getting out of everyone nagging him. They couldn't take her away like this. He prepared to call upon his luonto, started forming the sounds, but she turned to him, smiled.

”Let's do this again one day.”

And then they were gone. Lalli sank to his knees, clenched his hands. She was gone. Stuff was going to get back to normal. Everyone was going to start nagging him about his wedding again. Everyone was going to start nagging him about how the only one for him was...

Emil's hand came into view. Lalli blinked, looked at Emil, at his blue eyes and blond hair. Then he pushed himself off the floor, went to the bathroom again. Emil followed him, watched him as he investigated the sink three times before sinking down on the edge of the bathtub. Emil locked the door and sat down next to him.

”So what was all that about?” Emil asked.

He didn't look at Lalli, and Lalli was glad he didn't. Emil's hand was so close to his, they almost touched. If he moved his hand just a couple of milimeters they would. He put his hands in his lap and looked out the window.

”Wanted them to stop trying to get me to marry you.”

”Really? That's it?”

Emil laughed, pulled his hand through his hair, through Lalli's hair. Put Lalli's hair behind his ear, dusted some soot off Lalli's clothes and then he got up, opened the door again.

”Lalli, I don't want to marry you either.”

Emil laughed again, left the bathroom and closed the door. Lalli turned to stare at the door, placed a hand over his chest. There was a fuzzy feeling inside it, he couldn't tell what it was. Emil didn't want to marry him, he was free.

 

**Author's Note:**

> uuuh... so... I realized to late that somehow Peach can communicate with _everyone_ for some unexplained reason. Let's blame that on her speaking the language of Video Games or something. I don't know. I promise it wasn't a miss from the author! xD


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